The French Toast Saga

Part Six - The Bitter End!

“Pack your shit, call your brother and get the fuck out!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. I had finally snapped. After days of dealing with Casey freeloading off me, I had had enough. I stood in my room, already dressed for work, losing my shit. Casey stood across from me, white with fear and a dumbfounded look on her face.

“Are you serious?” She stammered back.

“You better fucking believe it! Do you think I’m stupid? I know what you are doing! You prance around my fucking apartment not cleaning up after yourself, eating my food and taking up my time. You think walking around in a thong or touching my leg is going to keep me from realizing that you are nothing more than a leech?”

“That’s…That’s not true” She stammered.

“Oh isn’t it?” I asked my face turning a crimson red. “Who babysat you for two weeks? Who paid for the Statue of Liberty?  Who put up with your demands on a 3 hour trip to a convention that was closed? And WHO THE FUCK COOKED YOU FRENCH TOAST EVERY FUCKING MORNING?!” I shrieked.

In my rage, all I could think about was how did I get to this point?  What finally set me off on this rage fueled tirade. Well I guess you could say I just had finally been pushed too far. Actually it was a bottled water of all things that made me snap.


The days after Jersey were exceptionally hard on me. I was on babysitting duty for over a week. Trying to entertain and accompany Casey on tourist destinations of NYC. I tried to at least pick free events. The last one was the Bronx Zoo which actually has a free day, were general admission is free. We spent the day looking at animals and taking pictures of Casey. The photos consisted of Casey in front of a cage (with a bewildered animal) a fake smile and a Vanna White model pose. After the first few times, its cuteness begins to become irritating. Finally after a long day we walked back to the subway. I was pretty thirsty so I bought myself a bottled water, but before I could take it from the vendor, Casey struck. She quickly grabbed the bottle, opened it and drank it while walking away. Leaving me with the bill.

“You okay buddy? You don’t look so good” The hotdog vendor said with concern.

I ignored him and walked to the subway where Casey was already waiting for the train. Her blond hair covered her headphones, but I could hear the rock music emanating from them. Once back home I went to my room and tried to get ready for work.

“Hey David, could you give me sixty dollars?” Casey said in a sweet tone.

“Fuck off” I grumbled.

“What?” Casey said shocked.

And that’s how it all ended. Casey packed her suitcase and was gone by the time I came home from work. I never heard from her again.

No! I Wish!

That’s how it should have ended.

Sadly the truth is more pathetic. What occurred was in the middle of my tirade, Casey grabbed me and shoved her tongue down my throat. So I wound up having a rage make out session with a girl I despised. Casey was not as stupid as she looked. Because for the rest of her trip she owned my ass. Every time I said no to any of her requests, she would shove her tongue down my throat. Sometimes she mixed it up by putting my hand over her breasts. But basically, I was her bitch.

I was under her thrall and did not wake up from it until a month later. Casey and I had begun an idiotic long distance “relationship”. It consisted of me calling her every day to hear about what she did that day or tell her how pretty she was. I realized I had hit rock bottom when I had the following conversation.

“So your coming to visit me right?” Casey squealed over the phone.

“Yeah I’m going to buy tickets for December to Puerto Rico before New Years Eve” I said in a horn filled daze.

“Oh I cant wait! You can go shopping with me, and you can take me to the local comic convention…” Her voice trailed off. The realization that Casey wanted me to be her sugar daddy was beginning to dawn on me.

“What?” I said.

“I just remembered! I was wondering that when you come down to Puerto Rico, maybe you could take me back to NYC” She said shyly.

“WHAT?!” Both the frat boy and I cried out.

“Well why not? You said you wanted to be with me. Let's just do it, I love your apartment” Casey said excitedly.

Aw dude, fuck this bitch. The frat boy said as he walked out of my life.

“Casey?” I asked.

“Yes?” Casey answered.

“Go fuck yourself, you freeloading cu--”

Well I think we should end it there.

I never did hear from Casey again. It turned out she had been stalking Rosa’s X, a child star from the 90‘s. She had concocted the entire visit just to learn more about him. This was to see if she could find some information she could use to hunt him. Once Rosa found out, I never had to worry about having my friendship tied with that idiotic blond. Casey deleted her face book account and dropped off the face of the Earth. Still, even with those hellish two weeks I learned something about myself. I had hit rock bottom. I had given up my self respect which was my biggest mistake. After all, once we lose that then we are nothing. That’s the one thing I will never do again. I am glad she’s gone, but I have to be honest; every time I smell French Toast it reminds me of her. Which is why I have not cooked it for years.