Cheesecake & The Pick Up Artist Part Three

I met Frankie D the next day at Runway 69. Located in the heart of Times Square, Runway 69 was one of the lower end strip clubs of the city. It catered to business men on leave from their wives and tourists from out of town who wanted to spice up their vacation. Frankie D sat in the back of the club away from the stage. He was wearing a white wrinkled short sleeved shirt which showed off his impressive collection of wristbands. His hair was slicked back and I could see the wrinkles under his eyes. I could tell he hadn’t slept much.

“Stripper game!” He announced. “I figured since you had such a hard time last night, it was time to change gears” He sat down after greeting me and took a sip of his fruity drink. I looked at Frankie D and thought about the show. Frankie D had come in third after failing to extract a stripper from the club into a waiting limo outside. I wondered if Frankie D had overcome his downfall.

I also reflected on my experience with strippers. It had been years since I set foot in a strip club. The fantasy of erotic dancers had been shattered long ago. When I worked as a driver back home and I would see them hustle drunken tourists out of their money. It killed any magic they had in my mind. Still I felt like I had let Frankie D down the night before and shrugged off my concerns.

“What you have to keep in mind about strippers is that their job is to game guys” Frankie D said. “So you have to be careful on how you game them, because you can tank yourself very easily”

“So what do you do?” I asked.

Cheesecake & The Pick Up Artist Part Two

“You have got to be the worst student I have ever had” Frankie D said angrily. The vein in his forehead was throbbing. He looked at me with anger and disappointment which seared into my soul. My eyes began to water. My heart felt heavy and I began to get shortness of breath.

“I’m sorry” I stammered.

“I honestly don’t know what I am going to do with you” Frankie D said as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I have never encountered this before”

Throngs of people walked past us laughing and enjoying the night. I sat down at the curb of the street and began to wipe the tears from my face. I was trying in vain to not let Frankie D see me. I began to wonder how I had gotten here.

Cheesecake & The Pick Up Artist Part One

“So what you have to know about women is that what entertained them as a child will amaze them now” Frankie D said as he took a bite of his cheesecake. Frankie D sat across from me and ran his fingers through his wavy brown hair. I took a minute to look him over he was wearing a sports jacket with a v neck white t-shirt. Around his neck, hung a beaded necklace. He looked just as he did on the TV show only a bit pudgier and more tanned.

“Yeah, but magic tricks? Seriously?” I said squirming in my seat.

“Dude, magic tricks are where it's at” He responded taking another bite of his cheesecake. You must be wondering how did I wind up sharing a meal with a reality show star? Why was he trying to convince me that magic tricks were the way into a woman’s heart? Well for the answers to that you had to turn the clock back six months.

It was New Years Eve and I was once again at home trolling Okcupid profiles. The sounds of celebrations were just outside my window. Friends embracing and lovers sharing that midnight kiss that I could only dream about. I was at my lowest. I was working a sales job that I hated and I was lonely. Moving to New York was supposed to get me out of my shell but two years in and I was deeper than I was previously. I had little friends and my dating life was in shambles.

It was then that I decided that I needed to change my life. I called up my friend Juan for help. Juan had always been the smartest of my group of friends. He was always regaling me with tales of his dating life and his other artistic pursuits. In recent years, he had settled down with a lovely wife and began the next chapter of his life. I begged him for advice on how to alter my lot in life.

"Well, you need to focus on one aspect of your life and devote as much energy as you can to changing it. Once you can accomplish this then you can move on to the next aspect” He said casually over the phone.

It was then that I decided to focus on women. My love life had never been particularly great. In fact, it was pretty depressing. As you have read, my dates were rather disastrous. So I told Juan my plan I would dedicate all my energy into finally unlocking the secrets of that mysterious creature known as woman.

“That’s excellent!” He said. “You should check out this show I am watching, its all about being better with women its called The Ladies Man”

 That weekend I spent binging on this reality show. It centered around this dating guru known only as Obscurity. Obscurity was a self proclaimed Pick Up Artist. A man who had claimed to have bedded more women than Wilt Chamberlain. His system claimed would guarantee that any man could win the woman of their dreams. One of the contestants though caught my eye. His name was Frankie D and he was a fat slob when he began the show and through the course of the series became the life of the party. He ultimately came in third but that point was glossed over, Frankie D was like me a pathetic shell of a man and had somehow transformed himself. I needed to learn more.