Cheesecake & The Pick Up Artist Part Four

Later that night Frankie D took me to a club on the lower east side called Crackers. The club was spacious and boasted an indoor garden. It was also one of the most frequently visited clubs by other Pick Up Artists. Once we walked in all eyes where on us, Frankie D’s reputation preceded him. We met a friend of Frankie’s named Will. Will was an actor living in NYC. He was well built and wore a nicely trimmed beard.

“Okay, its time for you to approach” Frankie D ordered.


I sucked in my breath and headed straight to a cute blond sitting at the bar alone. I struck up a conversation with her without using one of Frankie D’s lines. This annoyed him and I could tell he was waiting for me to get rejected in order to tell me off. To both of our surprises the girl responded and we wound up having a nice chat about our favorite bands. But when I went to ask for her phone number she sadly informed me that she was married.

Feeling rejected and down I slunk back to Frankie D.

“That was awesome!” He squealed.

“What are you talking about? She’s married” I said

“Whatever you stayed in for twenty five minutes!” He replied “You did great”

As the night progressed, I approached more women. Most of the time I used Frankie D’s canned material that I had memorized and did some magic tricks. A lot of the women were amused by my antics, but none gave me their numbers. Frankie D, on the other hand, was more interested in spending time with his friends than to pay attention to me. I would see him every once in a while as the night went on but finally as last call rang out Frankie D took me aside.

“Okay, so this is the last piece of advice I have for you,” He said seriously. “In order to be a real ladies man you need to start going out four times a week”

“Four times a week?!” I exclaimed. “Frankie, I have a job. How am I supposed to go out four times a week?”

“David, what the fuck? Do you want to be a ladies man or what?” He shot back “This is what its going to take to get to the next level”

I thought about this and finally gave in to Frankie D’s demands. I had spent most of my life being rejected by women. I was tired of my life being this way. So when I went home I wrote down Frankie D’s suggestions and taped it to my mirror. I called them Frankie’s Laws.

1) Go out four times a week
2) Learn more magic tricks
3) Stop hanging out with friends who were not in the pick up scene
4) Approach at least three times a night
5) Always believe that you are the most attractive man in the club

Frankie D left the next day. I vowed to make him proud and become the ladies man I always wanted to be. What I didn’t know was that by following Frankie’s Laws, it would lead to consequences that would alter my life forever.