Chicken Fingers A.K.A I Do Not Speak Girl

 

“You’re a complete asshole!” Janice yelled at me over the phone.  By her tone, I could picture her veins popping out of her neck and her eyes bulging out of her skull.

“What did I do?” I stammered back completely oblivious.

“Seriously? Did you not go on the same date I went on?” Janice said. I could hear her biting her nails and could feel the heat of her anger over the phone.

“Think David!” she screamed.

Twizzlers and Carla Sparrow

“I’m in love with Carla Sparrow” I told Paul as I took a bite of my twizzler.

“I’m sorry what?” Paul asked as he put his backpack on my bed.

“I love Carla Sparrow” I said again with confidence.

Paul sighed, and it was not the first time he had heard me claim my love for someone. But this was the first time he had heard me profess my love to Carla Sparrow one of the most popular girls in 10'th grade. But all those other girls were nothing compared to Carla. Carla, a transplant from New York had taken American School like a hurricane.  She didn’t care about being cool or being part of some of group. Which made her infinitely more popular and cool. It’s as if the rules of high school did not apply to her. Looking back now, I realize that Carla was just more mature than all of us.

Cheesecake & The Pick Up Artist Part Seven

As the night progressed, I found myself wandering the party in a daze. My New Years Eve had not gone at all how I expected. I had dreams of a sexual adventure that I would be telling my friends about for years. Instead, it was a night filled with shame and embarrassment.

I walked up to the roof of the apartment hoping to change my fate. The party was in full swing as I arrived. Beautiful people were drinking, dancing and generally having a grand time. I found Jack upstairs talking to a group of girls. All three were stunning and I could tell that Jack was in over his head. He was sweating and his expression was full of anxiety.

As I approached them I suddenly got the idea to use my latest magic trick. The fire wallet was a trick wallet that when opened would shoot flames in the air. It was a trick I had been practicing for weeks with. I was looking forward to performing it and figured that it would make quite an impression on these girls.